Essay写作如何检查修改

留学生们在完成一篇Essay之后,大部分人都会出去Happy放松一下,只有小部分人才会继续对其检查修改润色。其实这个步骤是非常关键的,假如你的Essay有什么错误的话,就可以得到及时修改,不影响分数;要是有非常严重的错误,还不去检查的话,那就糟糕了。那么Essay写作后该如何检查修改呢?下面就给大家讲解一下。

下面先给大家说说留学生在Essay写作造句时经常会出现的问题以及相应的解决方案:

1.句子冗余

造成这种情况的原因一般是重复使用了形容词,以及多余的介词和副词等,或者是句式不够简洁,比如:

Impressive
internship experience in a reputable company may provide university students
with a stepping stone to a well-paid job in related field.

分析:Impressive internship experience in a
reputable company 表达冗余,可以直接写成
an internship in a reputable company,同样,may provide university students with a stepping stone to
a well-paid job 可以改成
is a stepping stone to a well-paid job.

修改:For university students, an internship
in a reputable company is a stepping stone to a well-paid job.

又比如:

Distant
learning on the Internet requires a great amount of self-discipline, because
there is no fixed class schedule or teacher supervision.

分析:“远程教育”应该是 distance
learning 而不是
distant learning,此外,distance
learning 已经包含了“网上”的概念,所以on
the Internet 需要去掉。

还有一个例子:

The
government seems oblivious to the public complain about its recent health care
reform, which may add to the financial burden of impoverished families.

分析:这里 complain 是动词,名词形式应该是 complaint,此外,which may add to the financial burden
of impoverished families 可以精简为 which may burden impoverished families. 整个句子可以改成:

The
government seems oblivious to public complaints about its recent health care
reform, which may burden impoverished families.

解决办法:减少使用不必要的形容词和副词,养成精简句子的习惯。

2.用词问题

出现这种问题的原因是写作者对单词的用法一知半解,想当然地套用单词的中文含义。比如:

The
esteem for a good teacher could be jaw-dropping regionally.

分析:这里作者是想说“好老师受到了很大的尊敬”,但使用
jaw-dropping 一词并不合适。jaw-dropping
一般用来指事物的规模很大,令人吃惊(so
large or good that it amazes you)。

句子可以改成:

People
in some areas hold good teachers in high esteem.

又比如:

Fairly
a number of undergraduates usually concern that the shortage in vocational
competitiveness has its root in diploma, however, it’s actually a fallacy most
of the time.

分析:concern 作为动词使用时有一个含义是“使忧虑,使担心”,但此时的搭配应该是 something
concerns somebody,而不是
somebody concerns something,这里单词用法有误。句子可以改成:

Many
undergraduates feel that their lack of competitiveness has its root in
educational background. However, that is not true.

此外,介词和冠词的使用也值得注意:

(1)A common problem of newcomers is that they tend to throw
themselves headfirst into their current tasks without planning beforehand.

分析:“某人经常遇到的一个问题”应该是 a common
problem for somebody,而不是
a common problem of somebody,如果使用介词 of,一般是指问题的具体表现,比如 the problem of street crime/drug
abuse/unemployment etc.

(2)Children learn a lot about the nature by visiting zoos.

分析:如果要表达“大自然,自然界”这个概念,nature
前面不能加冠词
the,类似的例子还有单词
society,当我们要指广义上的“社会”时,前面不能加冠词
the,比如可以说:

Homelessness
is a serious problem for society.

但不能说:

Homelessness
is a serious problem for the society.

与此相反,有些单词则需要加 the,比如要表达“农村,乡村”这个概念时,应该说
the countryside,我们可以说:

They
live in a beautiful cottage in the countryside.

但不能说:

They
live in a beautiful cottage in countryside.

解决方法:对于前面提到的单词误用以及介词搭配问题,可以通过查词典来解决。对于冠词使用问题,可以重点学习语法书中关于冠词的知识。

3.逻辑跳跃

除了语法和用词之外,句子逻辑跳跃是另外一个很常见的问题。这种逻辑跳跃通常体现在,句子的前后部分在逻辑上无法衔接,给读者带来了理解上的困难。比如:

Many
fresh graduates land a job that is unrelated to their majors back in
universities, which is a sign that the high education in our country may need to
keep pace with the tendency of job market.

分析:由句子前半句很多大学生找的工作与专业不对口,并不能直接推导出我国高等教育跟不上就业市场趋势的结论。很多大学生找的工作与专业不对口,很可能的原因是他们在大学期间学的东西与就业市场的要求脱节。句子可以改写成:

Many
fresh graduates end up in jobs unrelated to their majors. That is because what
they have learnt in college does not match the demands of the job market.

又比如:

As
the boom of technology and productivity is so incredible today, we no longer
need to worry about the inadequate intake of essential nutrients.

分析:科技和生产力的蓬勃发展与我们不需要担心营养物质摄入问题同样没有必然联系,这里改为“农业技术的发展让我们不需要担心营养物质的摄入问题”逻辑会更加通顺:

Productivity
improvements in agriculture have made it possible for most of us to get
essential nutrients.

再举一个例子:

Vegetables
not only supply vitamins and minerals but also play a key role in improving
immune system.

作者想表达的意思是“蔬菜不仅可以提供维生素和矿物质,还可以改善我们的免疫系统”,但这句话仔细推敲其实是有问题的。蔬菜是可以提供维生素和矿物质,但它是如何改善我们的免疫系统的?这句话合理的逻辑应该是“蔬菜可以提供维生素和矿物质,这些维生素和矿物质可以改善我们的免疫系统”。即:

Vegetables
can supply vitamins and minerals, which play a key role in improving our immune
system.

解决方法:写句子之前先把一句话的前因后果理顺,避免出现逻辑断层的情况。

4.套用汉语表达习惯

出现该问题的原因是写作者仿造汉语的句式和搭配习惯来造句,这样写出来的句子给人的感觉会非常奇怪,比如:

Those
who perform well in peer group at an early age should be well educated lest the
pride gradually makes their talents fade away.

分析:作者像表达的意思是“那些小时候在同龄人中间出类拔萃的人需要被很好地教育,以免因为骄傲而抹去天赋的光芒。”,“因为骄傲而抹去天赋的光芒”这种抽象的比喻并不符合英文的表达习惯。句子可以改成:

Gifted
children should be given special attention lest they become self-satisfied.

解决方法:写句子的时候不要生造表达,只写自己在词典或者权威读物上接触过的用法,确保你的每一处用词和句式都是有据可依的。

总结:

当大家Essay写作完成之后就可以按照上面提到的这四点(句子冗余、用词问题、逻辑跳跃以及套用汉语表达)检查,确保自己写出来的句子做到语法用词正确,逻辑清晰,简洁通顺,为写好段落和文章打下基础。

以上就是关于Essay写作后检查修改的讲解,如果大家觉得自己写出来的Essay翻来覆去看都修改不出毛病的话,建议大家找别人帮忙看一下,换一种角度换一种思维方式,或许就能找到问题所在了。

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